Many people take pride in facing their fears through physical activities that include a real risk of injury or worse… things like bungee jumping, sky diving, car racing and more are becoming increasingly popular.
The simple biological reason for it is that it triggers a release of the “happy hormone” dopamine into the brain.
This hormone is highly addictive which means that the more it is released, the more we seek to release it. It feels good.
This was me in July 2018 facing my greatest fear which was fear of heights. We went to the highest point of the Alps right near the famous Mont Blanc summit with cable cars taking us to the vertiginous 3800m ride.
The “step into the void” box is above a free fall of 1,000 metres which puts you literally into the breathtaking landscape. Up there, I set an anchor for personal power when my fear used to live and it felt incredible. #dopamine (that’s why my hands are in that position, to set the anchor and make it very strong while I was in the moment)
After this experience, I’ve gone to high bridges and places that would have made me feel unwell in the past, but from then on, I was just fine and feeling calm at all times.
One less fear to deal with. Incredible.
What is even better to realise is that the same drop of dopamine happens when you do personal change work.
It’s usually less obvious as you don’t get the physical kick of having your heart pumping harder because you just exercised, but it still works!
The addictive qualities of dopamine is pretty common knowledge nowadays.
But I have some further factors for you to consider that will convince you to expand your limits and challenge your fears… for as long as you live.
1. Habits Last With Regular Practice
A recent study shows that it takes an average of 66 days to create a new habit.
That’s roughly two months of conscious action. You then need to continue practicing it to seal it into your nervous system as a lasting habit in your life.
If you’re a binge eater, it might be very hard to eat regular food portions only at meal times for the first few weeks.
However, the new way of eating will become the normal way within two months or so and then the person will still need to take conscious action, but the hard part won’t be there anymore.
The same happens when you make a habit of facing your fears. The more you train yourself to do it, the easier it becomes to face them.
If you’d taken me to the Mont Blanc a few years ago, I would not have been able to step onto the platform. But this time I did. Why? Because I’ve spent the past few years overcoming my fears one by one, without ever stopping to work on one.
I’ve overcome my fear of public speaking in English (my second language), I’ve overcome my fear of spiders (thank you Australia), I’ve overcome my fear of failure in business, I’ve overcome my fear of being judged by people, and the list goes on and on.
The power of habit setting is what makes each new fear exposure less challenging than the one before. And our old friend dopamine is here to help us feel good in the process.
2. Face Your Fears To Strengthen Your Womanity Powers
If you want to become a powerful woman, you need to master your natural powers (your Womanity).
Now imagine someone at the gym exercising without weights. You’d probably laugh a little and know for a fact that their muscles won’t get any stronger.
Well it’s the same with your life.
You need to put “weight” in your mental practices to get results. And that weight can come from a fear, a challenge, or a negative feeling.
In this context fear is ideal because it is easily identified, comes from deep inside and is usually individual.
That’s why just reading a book doesn’t make your life better. It’s when you start taking action on a real-life situation using your new learnings on your real life issues (=weight) that change starts to happen.
And that’s how you build up your Womanity powers.
3. Expand Your Comfort Zone
In life, you get the results (and I’m not just talking about financial results) that match the reality of what you believe is possible for you, including your limitations.
Imagine walking down the street and **wishing** for full confidence in your new colourful outfit but **believing** that everyone walking past is judging you negatively somehow. You end up feeling uncomfortable and end up changing clothes by the end of the day.
Why does this happen?
Because you have a fear of being judged by others that is so deeply ingrained that even a one off attempt and desire to overcome it isn’t enough.
In this case, the change needs to be a belief about “what people think of me” first. Once done, we can try the walk down the street again and notice the change in thoughts and behaviour.
In the case of my glass box in the Alps, I had to know the box was secure before I could step into it. Once the (sometimes healthy) fear of falling was satisfied knowing there was no danger, I was happy to step on the glass platform and enjoy the incredible view… fearlessly!
It’s when your thoughts match your desired outcome (ease or lack of fear in any situation) that you know that you have overcome the fear in question and expanded your comfort zone.
Expand your possibilities and abilities and you’ll be able to create, achieve and enjoy limitless possibilities in life.
4. Practice Awareness & Know Yourself
This point is simple but highly important and powerful:
You cannot expand your reality if you do not know yourself and what you are capable of.
There’s a fine line between what you think you are comfortable with and what you really are comfortable with.
Become acutely aware of this as you keep challenging yourself.
In other words, you cannot fix a problem that you do not know exists. This is one of the basics of problem solving, even without a clear outcome in mind, you need to become aware about where you’re at and what doesn’t feel right in your life.
The foundation of the Womanity wonders program is to give you a safe space where you can explore the depth of who you are and give you the tools and resources to improve your life and business one step at a time.
5. Your Time Is Limited
There’s one universal fear that serves a very specific purpose which is to keep us alive.
And that’s the fear of death.
Most people have it, and the ones who don’t have a healthy relationship with death either tend to struggle through the end of their lives or put themselves in situations that are too dangerous to be reasonably healthy for them.
Creating a healthy relationship with your own fear of death will free you to take many more risks in your life and unlock your true potential.
I suggest that you begin this process by considering the possibility of your death on a daily basis.
Not in a morbid way, but in an aware and realistic manner.
Once you do that, you will find your relationship to time will shift as you realise that it is your most precious resource in life.
With awareness and practice you will then make better choices as to how you spend your time and enjoy the benefits of a joyful life.
I believe that no one is above fear. Everyone fears something. And sometimes fears can be helpful and a positive thing, like a fear of guns shooting in your direction. Terrifying. Good. Run away as fast as you can. It’s a healthy and positive reaction.
But most fears aren’t useful. And that’s the ones we need to clean up from our lives if we want to become the most loving, abundant and successful versions of ourselves.